it starts...

so we're joining the bandwagon. this is our first attempt at family blogging, so bear with us. we have two dogs, max and maggie, and a house in nashville. that about rounds us out.

there's nothing really exciting about us, but we are pretty busy, and at times, we can be pretty funny. we're not very funny when we're very busy, unless we're delirious, and then we're hilarious...

recently, we returned from 11 days in Chisinau, Moldova. i think we both found our hearts there. jon's been 7 times; i've been twice. last time i went was not so good, but jon convinced me to give it one more go, and i think i had a better time there than at a luxury resort.

don't get me wrong - it wasn't about comfort. cold showers, no showers, 100 degree weather and no a/c...hawaii, it ain't. but i found purpose there...a reason to live that i haven't found yet. somehow, the sleep that comes on foam mattresses after holding children who don't regularly get hugs is very, very sweet. and the words exchanged when you don't know the language mean a whole lot more than normal.

so that wasn't very funny. but it's pretty raw. hope everyone is well!

leaving on a jet plane

27 Jun 2007


leaving on a jet plane...
Current mood: anxious

so i'm off to a foreign country in two days. i am going to offer help to the helpless and a hundred other cliches. i have been battling myself over my "call" to do this for sometime. like my mom said, i've only convinced myself this week that i'm going.

i really am excited. i struggle, though, with the idea that i will be loving on kids who, when i leave, and when all the other well-meaning teams leave, will be left with not much. a tote bag with a memory verse; some new english slang; a fresh admonition to stay away from fifty cent. what will i leave with them? will God speak through me, loudly enough, that when teamed with the voices of a hundred other people, that a child will not allow herself to be trafficked into the sex trade? will i be able to stifle my not-to-well-hidden urge to yak when faced with the...unique...smells of this land in favor of showing that i appreciate a culture in a place that so desperately needs to be thought of as "western?"

i feel like i am learning the meaning of faith. that faith is more than knowing God offers a better life than I have, but knowing that He has a plan for those orphans. i struggle when i hear the all-american, Dave Ramsey answer that "God doesn't want harm for you, so stop using credit cards," that he means that to have this American life, full of "fulfillment," which always means wealth - I don't care who you are - is not the life that I hope for my orphan boys in Moldova. i want them to know love. i want them to know that even a little is more than enough. that the goal is to be better than you were yesterday. that i want them to make a difference, and i will do what it takes to help them make that difference?

but do i believe that? i don't know. i believe that i WANT to be better than i was yesterday - otherwise, why am I going to this hot, tiring, lovely place? i want to make a difference. but again, i want the best. i want to make a LASTING difference, and i have to believe that somehow, my being with these kids will show them the love of Christ. will show them that a sacrifice is worth it - that love is worth the sacrifice.

and, if i'm willing to show the love of Christ to those that don't even speak my language, why is it so hard to be loving in the fast lane of I-65?