Friday, November 19, 2010

a pause, perhaps

i can't write this. i won't write this. i don't want to write this.

the fabulous story that began with a tornado...and progressed through college...and lasted through a plane crash...and a couple of relocations...that we thought had brought us to the beginning of a family...

...has hit quite a bump.

the story is not over. nope. not at all.

but it has a chapter that jon and i most certainly didn't see coming.

dennis left us. the child that we were called to adopt and bring to america -- the child that we helped to attain american citizenship -- decided he didn't want to be part of this story any longer.

i'll skip over the details...the ones that most assuredly would have been featured on some reality show or made-for-tv movie. but here are the facts: dennis left us on a sunday. when he should have been serving others. and took a car but left a note that said that he appreciated the experiences we gave him, but that he longed for more challenges and the next chapter in his story. that he never could see us as family. that we had more love to give than he could receive. and he left.

as most parents would, we panicked. and i am proud that we panicked. that real, raw parenting kicked in and we called the cops. and we talked through the options. should we report the car stolen to find him? maybe. should we stake out the spots where we thought he might be? no. should we breathe deeply and pray? absolutely.

and as the day grew long, we realized that we would not get him back...at least for now. jon hopped in his car and came up to nashville so that we could think as a team.

and it has been almost a week and my heart hurts as badly and possibly worse than it did to begin with.

dennis has decided that he doesn't want to be part of this daily story. and that's OK. it has to be OK. there's nothing for me to do but wait on the Lord and his impeccable timing and pray that in the meantime i might glorify Him.

i would ask that you pray for dennis -- that he comes back to our family. we pray that he understands how much we love him and want the best for him.

i would ask that you pray for us -- that we never lose sight of the call to be joyful in every circumstance and to be anxious about nothing.

i would ask that you pray for all the troubled children of the world -- that they find the answers that they need.