Missing Maggie

Some of you may have already heard that our little Maggie passed away last night. We knew she was not doing well last night at the animal hospital but tried to find glimmers of hope in each push of her leg on us and the way she rested her head on emily's shoulder just desperate for rest. We brought her her favorite pillow from the house, a nice soft brown velvet floor pillow, and Emily laid her on that pillow and kissed her before we left. Emily went to visit her this morning and Dr. Bolling had to break the news that we lost her.

There are so many emotions swirling in both of us right now. Dennis doesn't know yet - he's at school... I go back and forth thinking - I shouldn't be this sad... but I am. I'll have strong moments and then cry at my desk and I only jumped into blog because I'm sure Emily's computer is fried from all the tears falling on the keys today. Maggie was definitely her mama's baby, as the picture above shows, and we are going to miss her so, so much. She was our first "baby"... We answered the ad in the paper for a schnauzer and once we met her and her brother Max, we knew they were to be part of our family. We had wonderful trips to the dog park, fun road trips to nana's, dressed her up (sometimes against her will) in isaac mizrahi polo shirts and halloween costumes from target, and we have countless other wonderful memories of moments relaxing together at home. She was a sweet, amazingly smart dog that loved us and had so much personality. She was feisty, she was a hunter that hunted down whatever it is that made her sick and she fought hard against the attack on her system. Even though she lost her fight last night, we will never forget our little maggie and we're just trying to ponder the reasons why God may have allowed this to happen today. I do know that I'd much rather her be resting and at peace then suffer from extended damage from whatever toxin her body was fighting.

We're thankful we have Max today - who is a very sweet, smart dog and knows what has happened. He licked up our tears today and I'm sure he's missing Maggie in their house today. Our life seems to be constant change these days and we're just not sure when we'll get a break. But we know there is much to be thankful for - like God's constant provision, that Maggie isn't in pain anymore, that we have Max to help us heal as we help him heal, and that we have an amazing son who has grown to love these pups like he never knew he could. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers today...

one sick puppy

anyone that has kept up with our life before this blog started knows that we started our little family with the addition of two little puppies, max and maggie. they also know that we spoil them more than a little, and basically treat them like our children.

little maggie is sick. she couldn't walk on sunday night and couldn't hold her head up on monday morning. when we got her to the vet, they said that she had ingested something toxic. dr. bowling, our fabulous, schnauzer-owning vet, told us that things didn't look good.

i have spent the last couple of days in tears. i vascilate between playing out all the ways she could have gotten into something and fervently praying that she bounces back. it is not a good feeling.

she is improving (in my expert opinion). when we visited her last night, she wagged her tail (fabulous), held her head up for us and even drank some water (HUGE). we're still not totally sure she's going to make it, but i am comforted knowing she feels even a little better.

i struggled with knowing whether to pray for her healing. there are people all over the world that are suffering so much, i hate "wasting" a prayer. but as my wonderful mama told me, God made our little doggies just for us, and he's pretty OK with hearing our cries for help.

so, if you're of the same mind, please whisper a prayer for my little maggie. it would really mean a lot to me.

first day of school

i'm the daughter of a school teacher. anyone who knows me well knows this. my mom is an undeniable influence in my life, but her legacy of school and education is one of the strongest pulls i feel. it was she who taught me that the first day of school was unlike any other "first day." she still gets all excited when walmart opens up those two long aisles of back-to-school goodness. she would take jessica and me to the hot springs mall and let us pick out our school clothes, usually at sears or penneys and then we'd go home and lay out our first day outfit. i mean, head-to-toe, if there was layering involved, it would be evidenced on the hangers outside our closet, and the shoes would be lined up as if there was a little invisible emily hanging outside those folding doors. now, i would continue this ritual up until marriage. jessica usually let it go after the excitement wore off.

i write all this, because this is really my first time to live through the first day with my own son. i got so excited last weekend because it was TAX FREE. that means that all the families in tennessee mob target just to save that almost-ten-percent tax on school clothes and supplies.

pause. there is nothing i like better than brand new school supplies. the smell of wooden pencils, even though i never use them, is heavenly. the crack of a notebook that has yet to get it's spirals smashed. those cute mini-supplies, like staplers, that you'll NEVER use.

so last weekend, we asked dennis if he needed anything to start school. he looked at us if we were half-crazed. "but, don't you need new pencils or something?" 

"no. i have lots of pencils."

"paper? notebooks?"

"no. why would i need them? i have plenty of paper and notebooks."

"don't you need new polo shirts - isn't there a stain on some of them?"

at this point, he notices that i'm slightly pained.

"i don't need a new one. there maybe a small stain, but it's fine. maybe just one more would be ok."

and then i remember that he's from a former soviet nation. just having a pencil is fine. as long as you've got room to write, you don't need more paper. a stain on a shirt is no biggie, so long as it fits you.

there are times when i notice that american excess gets to him. and it breaks my heart and has even made me return things when i sense that i've fallen prey to the same. and i recognize that the "first day of school" is a marketing ploy like everything else because what kid in america really needs one more pencil?