leftovers from 2008

here are some belated christmas pictures...we had a rather untraditional holiday, since we didn't really know who was coming up for christmas and when, or whether we'd load the car and head to arkansas. 

we did end up having a tender tennessee christmas...my parents (and charlie...that's him on the left enjoying a greenie beneath the tree) made it on christmas night, and we were joined by jess and scott (and annie) on friday 

night. after a "family mexican" christmas dinner, where our wonderful friends at el sombrero treated us to their usual good eats (and drinks), we just hung out. 

dennis learning to make christmas cookies

jon demonstrating how to make "blue spruces" on account of not having the patience to wait for the green icing

max strikes a pose in front of the tree

dennis's introduction to the ornament tradition

dennis enjoying his "big" gift - a ski trip with all the necessary accessories. i know his eyes are closed, but this was too cute. he was so excited he immediately put on his new ski bibs and goggles to model for us.

ready for a new year

i thought i'd blog one last time for 2008. it's been one heck of a year...a brief recap:
- adopted a teenage son
- house flooded, replaced all the floors
- took first family vacation to hawaii
- started looking for a new church
- lost my little love, maggie
- almost lost max - but didn't
- found out my dad has cancer
- found out jon doesn't have cancer
- got a promotion
- found out my mom has cancer

wow. i'm going to call 2008 - "the year where i began to learn about faith." it really has been a trying year, but i know that we're all stronger for it. i am so thankful for friends that come through, for a strong marriage, for a faith that really does grow every day.

for 2009, we pray for lots and lots of good news. dennis will be starting new classes (all honors!) this semester, so let's start with that. we are so proud of our little guy. we are praying that we will be better parents in the coming year. i would love to get to a place where i lay my head on my pillow and say, wow. i was a great mom today. we'll see...

i'm sure that we'll have a new set of challenges in the next 365 days. i pray for grace and mercy, patience and strength as we live each one of them. thanks for walking our journey with us...happy new year!

the ice man cometh

we're cuddled up in our living room. this morning, the little box next to the ticker on the today show said 9. that's 9 degrees. according to the newsman, that was the coldest reading since 1993. max wouldn't even go outside. he put on the skids about a foot out from the back door. i don't really blame him.

only instead of cuddling up sooner, we decided to take dennis to ICE! tonight. that means that after we waited outside in the ticket line in about 20 degree weather, we entered a building that stays at 9 degrees. the same temp that max balked at. i almost felt the same...almost.

i got the chance to hang out with my husband and son at one of the "coolest" places ever - my job. we got to see larger-than-life sculptures of the Grinch and the whos. before you could say "three sizes too small," my immigrant son had grabbed his phone to document the moment.

how fun. i have a "new" son to share the wonder of the season with. and a place to work that is, "the most christmassy resort in america." pretty neat, right?

so, for those that read this that aren't around nashville (because i know that those who are have been to ICE!, right?) the last room is the nativity. i love it. it's a life-size nativity carved completely out of ice. they tell an abbreviated version of luke's story of the birth of Christ, complete with spotlights that shine on the key-characters when it's their turn to "shine." how thankful i am that i have the opportunity to celebrate christmas. even though it looks a little different this year. even though i have NO IDEA how to please a teenager with gifts. even though, for the first time ever, my mom and dad have requested that we not exchange gifts. understandably.

thank you, God. for sending your son. for allowing him to become one of us. so that he would understand my emotions...so that i would know that when i pray for peace, He would know exactly what i meant.

things i need to blog about:

1. tuna does vegas...a christmas tradition is passed to dennis.

2. dennis as buddy the elf in the christmas parade.

3. carrie underwood, little big town...and one happy little moldovan american at his first concert.

real thanksgiving

i don't have a whole lot of time to write this, but i had to update anyone who cares.

my mom doesn't have cancer! that felt so good to type. she has to have a little surgery, but that is OK with me. like she said..."we can handle anything, but that sure is easy to handle."

bless my parents. they deserve good news right now. 

we had a wonderful, last minute thanksgiving in arkadelphia. we drove down on thanksgiving. that confused dennis to no end...there was a parade on TV on the day before thanksgiving? since we were having our big lunch on friday, everyone stayed mixed up about what day it was.

i commandeered the kitchen and made a food network thanksgiving, which i must say i am very proud of. with help from paula, tyler and sunny, mixed with a little bit of me, i got a giant lunch on the table at 2. i had some help from my sous chefs.

dennis seemed to enjoy thanksgiving, but it was hard to explain the pilgrims and all that. he got thrown off by the weird hats. 

it is so good to be part of a family. i feel so very blessed that God has seen fit to bring us through all this. i feel honored that He felt ready to show us that our faith is secure. i feel unworthy of the test, but all the same, i know we will all come through this little time so much stronger together.

shout out to the gas guys, too. we got down to the delph and back for about $45. not bad at all. what bad economy?

good stuff...and not so good stuff.

let's see. on monday, i got a promotion. you're reading the words of a bonafide manager. i feel so old and grown-up and responsible. and grateful. i have a new title and a new blackberry and a new laptop. and i feel very connected. most of all, though, i'm just really glad that i have the opportunity to get paid to love on people. it's my job to make sure that people love theirs. not a bad gig, right?

we decorated for Christmas last weekend. the house really does look good. dennis likes the tree, though not well enough to put one in his room..."what if i accidentally throw dirty clothes on it?" good question, champ. let's not tempt fate.

got some not-so-great health news on my mama today. not to go into details, but it'd be great if you could pray...fervently...for a good test result on Wednesday. when the results come back STELLAR, then we can all have a cyber-laugh and prayerfully thank God.

it is not. fun. to get bad news about your parents. ever.

on the flip side, though, we got great news about my dad...see, his cancer numbers were WAY down after just two treatments, but his heart's been acting funny. so he got all sorts of tests run, and it looks like we get to resume chemo...YAY. he hates the chemo, but if it's working (which it is), then daddy says, "hook me up...fast."

mom and dad have just been spending an awful lot of time in doctors' offices and hospitals lately, and they could use some good news.

life now, well...it's just a big roller coaster ride. don't care how cliched it sounds. that's the only way to describe it.

officially american

dennis didn't get to vote in this election...but guess what?! he's now an american citizen and he can't wait until 2012!

we went to memphis last friday for him to say the oath. it was an experience i'm glad we had. it's not often that you're in a room full of people who have been waiting to be americans. i'm guessing there's not a room in eastern europe where people gather who've waited 15, 20, even 30 years to pledge their allegiance.

no one could figure out how we all fit together...it makes me laugh that we're not conventional and when people like to see if they can name that birth order. "so are you the sister or the mother?"

nana and pops met us down there - we tried to make it a surprise for d, but it didn't quite work. mom and i haven't always been "ahead of the curve girls," so i was on the phone with her trying to get her to memphis, since she hadn't printed directions. the picture isn't a great one, but pops got tickled, which doesn't often happen when cameras are involved, and so this was a great picture. no one would brave the photo-op until we did it, and by the time we'd taken our round, there was a multi-cultural line forming behind us. 

Then we took dennis, whose favorite american food is ribs, to the rendezvous for lunch. here he is having finished a whole rack. almost. he made pops proud. it made me thankful that pops finished a small order. he looked great. and so did nana.

so, we really, truly have an american son. and have the papers to prove it. next step? drivers license. maybe next month?

explaining america

i'm playing catch up. i realized i hadn't posted about the merryman  family election experience quite yet and that made me sad, because it really did impact us...

it's no secret which way the merrymans roll. we were early adopters of the huck for president campaign. in fact, the first money i ever gave to a campaign was during this election for huck. i still wear my t-shirt to target and i faithfully drink my saturday joe from his mug. that's joe - coffee not joe - plumber. anyway...

dennis goes to a pretty progressive school - it's an art school, and encourages free thinking - sort of. he came home nightly with reports of intellectual throw-downs, where kids would call each other to the carpet about to whom they would cast their vote. only if you said mccain, like dennis did, you were ridiculed. denounced for being racist and said to be a lemming. when dennis asked what the hubbub was about, why no one voted for mccain, his classmates said, 'we're voting for obama because he's black. unless you hate blacks, you'll vote for him, too." 

we had many conversations over pasta about this phenomenon. that we vote for conservative candidates because of how they spend our money and because of their belief that babies have a right to live. we don't vote for people based on the color of their skin. he was torn up about why the students at his school didn't think for themselves. he wanted to know if they knew what obama stood for and why they couldn't talk about that instead of the color of his skin.

so the election happened. and...i'm not a sore loser. i firmly believe that you don't get to be a candidate for president without at least a small inkling of how to run a country (although i'd love to have been a fly on the wall when he went to his first national security briefing). 

but the morning after - as i was hoping for a repeat of 2004 when we went to bed with one guy as president and woke up with another - the saddest thing happened. the channel 4 news interviewed a student that goes to d's school at the bus stop downtown. and she said, "i voted for obama. i didn't care if he was democrat or republican...i voted for him because he was black."

and this proves to me that racism is alive and well. we vote for someone because he looks cool...he probably has an ipod and talks a little like we do. we vote for someone because we want to be cool..."i voted for the first black president." we vote for someone for all the wrong reasons. and there's a country that will live or die based on the choices this man makes. and i know this is not the majority, but just to know that the thought process exists makes me very, very angry.

the day after the election, i was driving home and listening to npr. bill moyers was interviewed and basically said that if you wanted to see if racism was alive, you need only look at the electoral map. he said that people in the south clearly voted only for white men, and that republicans were so out of touch because they continue to campaign based on "values." i got so angry i ran home and commented on npr.org. 

i voted for mccain because i believe what he believes. i voted for him because he stands for what i stand for. i voted for him because he's got some years under his belt and has done more than visit our enemies on a press trip.  i did not vote for him because he looks like me.

it makes me happy that history has been made and my son was alive and in america when it happened. i just wish our dirty secrets weren't exposed on such a public stage.

the morning after.

so...the birthday party went well. really well. i was a nervous wreck and am considering going in yet again for something medical to help me through strenuous social situations.

but, really, we couldn't ask for a better day. i made dennis his first cake, which was delicious and looked like it had been decorated by a 3rd grader. nice, right? dennis thought it was beautiful - or at least that's what he said. 

all of his buddies came over and roasted s'mores and ate candy and chick-fil-a nuggets (because gourmet cooking would be wasted on teenagers, right?) i didn't order in to be lazy, i promise. i did make frozen waffle fries because chick-fil-a doesn't sell those on a platter. one little guy stayed over, and here's what the morning after looked like. Notice we're all in PJs and D has a giant mug o' coffee (and so do i). that's a birthday napkin in my hand, because the party's not really over until the party supplies are gone.

halloween witchiness...

i'm finally at the point where i'm indignant FOR my son, not at him. this week is dennis's birthday. his birthday is november 1 - and we are having a big ole time teaching him what it means to have an american birthday party. i had the brilliant idea to have a party on halloween. teenagers don't trick-or-treat, right? i mean, the ones whose mamas raise them right don't. there is an age where you don't get to beg for candy any longer. there is an age when the gifts you open on Christmas morning no longer come from a guy in a red suit.

so dennis invited a few friends from school, some grown-ups he knows from moldova and his sister. he was most excited about his school friends. he told them about the party a month in advance so they wouldn't make halloween plans. on monday, he took the invitations to them, and, turns out, every little girl who said she could come has decided not to come. they'd rather trick or treat.

i. am. livid.

he is so hurt by their actions - that they lied to him. he threatened to take away their invitations, and after explaining that wasn't couth, i told him i'd beat them up. then i had to explain that wasn't couth, either.

i don't like this part of motherhood, because my heart just aches. i promised him we'd have the best darn party ever, and they'd only wish they'd come to his party. he didn't look like he bought it.

it's a good thing that i have work to do today, and a heck of a party to plan. because i want to call the mamas. and explain that where i'm from, you just don't let your kids trick or treat at the ripe old age of 16. and you certainly don't teach them to lie.

killing trees isn't always a bad idea.

i need to take a quick break from posting about all the goings on to just comment. indulge me.

i've been posting recently about all the trips we've taken to arkansas. when i go by myself, i almost always get a book on tape from the cracker barrel. when we all go, jon always drives (against my wishes), and i almost always read a book (which makes not being the driver a little bit easier to take).

on the trip to pick up dennis from his two-week stay with nana and pops, i listened to Run, by Ann Patchett. normally, i get a lovely little no-brainer, something that will make me giggle as the flat fields on eastern arkansas fly by. but for whatever reason, i thought, why waste my money on nonsense? let's get something worthy of "reading."

well...one of my favorite blog spots is Real Simple. they have about 16 blogs all in the same place all about stuff i care about. you know - earth-shattering essays on what to eat for dinner, how to arrange your living room and the merits of digital scrapbooking. recently, they began the "no-obligations book club" blog where you can read along and discuss books online. right up my alley. one of the first books they chose to feature was Run. so exciting. i wouldn't even have to read to participate, since i had already "heard" it all. or so i thought.

the moderator is picking apart the layers of the story, and while i knew it was complex, it's SO much more than i thought. there was even an entire storyline that i missed completely.

so here's the issue: am i just a bad listener, or is it difficult to "get" the nuances of a story without the benefit of print?

i've been itching to get seth godin's new business book, tribes. he has released a copy on iTunes, with himself as the reader. it's only 99 cents. but here's the rub...do i spend 99 cents on a piece that i MIGHT get a little bit out of (a very earth-friendly choice, since there's no oil consumed in delivery, no trees harmed in the printing and no packing materials to kill any penguins), or do i spend $13.57 on the hardcover book from Amazon, veritably killing the earth, one key-stroke at a time? my guess is that the extra $12.58 and ensuing consequences are worth it.

there's something about print that just makes it past my ears and into my head. it's why i ran to my computer to type all the words to "Bent" when I was a junior instead of just listening to the words. they made whole lot more sense that way.

i've been tagged...

i'm always the one that doesn't respond to the multiple question emails. i'm that girl...the one that loves to read others' dirt, but would rather not add her own. and never mind that in a contest with an aloe vera plant, i'm pretty sure the aloe gets the most exciting life award. but my friend hannah tagged me, so...here goes: 7 random things about me:

1. i feel extreme, uncontrollable guilt if i go to bed without removing my makeup. if i fall asleep with it on and wake up at 3 in the morning, i immediately go grab a face wipe. pretty sure this stems from a mary kay party my mom threw me once.

2. i usually speak to my dog before i speak to anyone else when i get home from work. can't help it. he's the only one that guaranteed will give me love and listen without interrupting.

3. i listen to npr in the morning so that i will have something to talk about.

4. i cry at every single gray's anatomy episode. every. single. one.

5. when i sing at church, i pray that there is a recording executive sitting next to me that will discover that i have incredible potential and will offer me a contract, or at least some free lessons. this is really not out of the ordinary in nashville. we're all praying for the same thing.

6. i could eat cheese and crackers for every meal. this explains why i can't lose weight. the stinkier the cheese, the better. i have been known to grab a pinch of grated parmesan right out of the tub. there. i said it.

7. i pluck my gray hairs in traffic.

 

why i'm not ready to be rachel ray:

i love to cook. it's one of the few things that i've aspired to that i've accomplished. i'm pretty good at "cooking by feel," meaning i can read a recipe and execute well, but i like to throw things together and have them come out tasting much better than any recipe. if ever i have a show on the food network, my mom and i have it all worked out...it will feature "cooking from your pantry" and i'll impart my knowledge to a world of eager viewers. seriously...my family's favorite meals are the ones where i clean out the fridge and concoct a really great meal.

so, how do i know i'm not ready? please look at the photo. that's an example of cooking from your pantry gone awry. my dad had told me about this cheese that you get at walmart that melts into a fantastic mexican dip. i picked up what i thought was the right cheese, but after sticking it with milk in the microwave for about four minutes, it refused to melt. it just got rubbery. so i decided to open a can of beans and a can of corn and throw the cheese in with it. only the rubbery white stuff crumbled instead of melting. my husband said, "wow. it looks like cottage cheese." thanks. in addition to being crumbly, i didn't drain either the beans or the corn or the milk from the dip attempt. so it turned into purple soup.

it didn't taste bad, but man, was it ugly. thankfully, my husband and son know better than to comment. they just ate it. however, i'm almost positive dennis didn't ask for seconds.

also...today would have been my mimi's 95th birthday. i can't ever remember anyone's birthday, but i always remember hers. she's a hero of mine...she loved the Lord, loved her family, and had a good dose of spunk. may it be said of me. 

returning to "normal..."

we're beginning to remember what normal looks like. it looks a little like Dennis studying and Max looking on. how cute are they? you'll notice "the shack" on the table next to them. i read it pretty quickly, and am considering a re-read. because it can't possibly be theologically true.  more on that in a later blog, i'm sure.

but we're re-learning that normal means that every phone call is NOT necessarily bad news. and that healing happens. 

what's not normal? well, i get to talk to my dad now...really talk to him. before this nasty illness came into our lives, my dad wasn't really a PHONE person. to be honest, he wasn't really a talking person. not deep, anyway. we're learning to talk deeply. i'm not going to get all morbid and say that we all wonder if it will be the last conversation. it's not that at all. we just appreciate life a little more. and we're beginning to learn to be a one-dog family. although i'm pretty sure we were never meant for that. but max is pretty thrilled to get walked every night. and my cardiovascular system is thankful for that :)

thank you for your prayers and conversations over the past few weeks. it's meant the world to us that you would journey alongside us as we return to normal.

learning to live day by day

about six months ago, a friend of ours asked if our blog was "true." if everything in our life was just as it sounded...perfect. and at the time, we thought, "gee, that's really funny." i mean, at the time, yes, we were in the midst of learning to be a family with a new 15-year-old child. but life was good...we laughed through trips to the grocery store and through learning to discipline. we had kooky things happen to us, but we muddled through.

this summer...we've learned to be a family that weathers storms. i should say, we're learning.

some of you know that last week, my dad got some pretty bad news. seems he's got cancer. a good round of it. liver and colon. and it came up so suddenly that we had to rally troops in about an hour. he's currently recovering at the hospital, from the removal of a softball-sized tumor. we have a long road ahead of us, but we are truly hopeful. i don't know that i've understood hope before yesterday. my dad is ready to fight, and we are ready to fight with him, and to God be all the glory regardless of the outcome.

i have to tell you that the last month of my life has been trying...i have cried more and prayed more and screamed more than ever before. i don't understand why, but i'm learning that it is not ours to understand. we just have to trust. things work together for good, even when we can't see it. sounds so cliche...but it's not.

last weekend, i got to spend unexpected time with my mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law, mostly because my sweet little maggie passed away. i needed comforting, and that seemed like the best plan. it was a fantastic weekend. we played together, ate together and fought together.

and then three days later, we get the not-so-great news that my dad's not going to be feeling that stellar for a little bit. had we waited to get together until labor day (the original plan), we might have missed out on the sweetness of all the week before. never, never think that things don't happen for a reason.

i am so thankful for the people and things that have been placed in my life...for a husband who's lived through all this before and can answer my questions. for doctors who have miraculously appeared. for surgery appointments that have just "become available." for tumors that are big, but are not so big that a body can't be fixed up. for glimmers of hope that turn into gigantic rays of healing. my life is one big miracle now, but not in the lottery sense of miracle. in the sense that i am blessed beyond measure to witness those miracles.

i know that soon, i will be able to live my life a little less "on the edge." the matters that present themself to me will not warrant immediate, drop down on your knees prayer and crying. but i pray that i will not fail to see miracles.

Missing Maggie

Some of you may have already heard that our little Maggie passed away last night. We knew she was not doing well last night at the animal hospital but tried to find glimmers of hope in each push of her leg on us and the way she rested her head on emily's shoulder just desperate for rest. We brought her her favorite pillow from the house, a nice soft brown velvet floor pillow, and Emily laid her on that pillow and kissed her before we left. Emily went to visit her this morning and Dr. Bolling had to break the news that we lost her.

There are so many emotions swirling in both of us right now. Dennis doesn't know yet - he's at school... I go back and forth thinking - I shouldn't be this sad... but I am. I'll have strong moments and then cry at my desk and I only jumped into blog because I'm sure Emily's computer is fried from all the tears falling on the keys today. Maggie was definitely her mama's baby, as the picture above shows, and we are going to miss her so, so much. She was our first "baby"... We answered the ad in the paper for a schnauzer and once we met her and her brother Max, we knew they were to be part of our family. We had wonderful trips to the dog park, fun road trips to nana's, dressed her up (sometimes against her will) in isaac mizrahi polo shirts and halloween costumes from target, and we have countless other wonderful memories of moments relaxing together at home. She was a sweet, amazingly smart dog that loved us and had so much personality. She was feisty, she was a hunter that hunted down whatever it is that made her sick and she fought hard against the attack on her system. Even though she lost her fight last night, we will never forget our little maggie and we're just trying to ponder the reasons why God may have allowed this to happen today. I do know that I'd much rather her be resting and at peace then suffer from extended damage from whatever toxin her body was fighting.

We're thankful we have Max today - who is a very sweet, smart dog and knows what has happened. He licked up our tears today and I'm sure he's missing Maggie in their house today. Our life seems to be constant change these days and we're just not sure when we'll get a break. But we know there is much to be thankful for - like God's constant provision, that Maggie isn't in pain anymore, that we have Max to help us heal as we help him heal, and that we have an amazing son who has grown to love these pups like he never knew he could. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers today...

one sick puppy

anyone that has kept up with our life before this blog started knows that we started our little family with the addition of two little puppies, max and maggie. they also know that we spoil them more than a little, and basically treat them like our children.

little maggie is sick. she couldn't walk on sunday night and couldn't hold her head up on monday morning. when we got her to the vet, they said that she had ingested something toxic. dr. bowling, our fabulous, schnauzer-owning vet, told us that things didn't look good.

i have spent the last couple of days in tears. i vascilate between playing out all the ways she could have gotten into something and fervently praying that she bounces back. it is not a good feeling.

she is improving (in my expert opinion). when we visited her last night, she wagged her tail (fabulous), held her head up for us and even drank some water (HUGE). we're still not totally sure she's going to make it, but i am comforted knowing she feels even a little better.

i struggled with knowing whether to pray for her healing. there are people all over the world that are suffering so much, i hate "wasting" a prayer. but as my wonderful mama told me, God made our little doggies just for us, and he's pretty OK with hearing our cries for help.

so, if you're of the same mind, please whisper a prayer for my little maggie. it would really mean a lot to me.

first day of school

i'm the daughter of a school teacher. anyone who knows me well knows this. my mom is an undeniable influence in my life, but her legacy of school and education is one of the strongest pulls i feel. it was she who taught me that the first day of school was unlike any other "first day." she still gets all excited when walmart opens up those two long aisles of back-to-school goodness. she would take jessica and me to the hot springs mall and let us pick out our school clothes, usually at sears or penneys and then we'd go home and lay out our first day outfit. i mean, head-to-toe, if there was layering involved, it would be evidenced on the hangers outside our closet, and the shoes would be lined up as if there was a little invisible emily hanging outside those folding doors. now, i would continue this ritual up until marriage. jessica usually let it go after the excitement wore off.

i write all this, because this is really my first time to live through the first day with my own son. i got so excited last weekend because it was TAX FREE. that means that all the families in tennessee mob target just to save that almost-ten-percent tax on school clothes and supplies.

pause. there is nothing i like better than brand new school supplies. the smell of wooden pencils, even though i never use them, is heavenly. the crack of a notebook that has yet to get it's spirals smashed. those cute mini-supplies, like staplers, that you'll NEVER use.

so last weekend, we asked dennis if he needed anything to start school. he looked at us if we were half-crazed. "but, don't you need new pencils or something?" 

"no. i have lots of pencils."

"paper? notebooks?"

"no. why would i need them? i have plenty of paper and notebooks."

"don't you need new polo shirts - isn't there a stain on some of them?"

at this point, he notices that i'm slightly pained.

"i don't need a new one. there maybe a small stain, but it's fine. maybe just one more would be ok."

and then i remember that he's from a former soviet nation. just having a pencil is fine. as long as you've got room to write, you don't need more paper. a stain on a shirt is no biggie, so long as it fits you.

there are times when i notice that american excess gets to him. and it breaks my heart and has even made me return things when i sense that i've fallen prey to the same. and i recognize that the "first day of school" is a marketing ploy like everything else because what kid in america really needs one more pencil?

what have we become?

...so, tomorrow, i leave to pick up my son. sort of. 

NOTE: to any would-be robbers: the house will NOT be unoccupied. just so you know.

yes, i'm going to pick up my son. but also: my sister turns 25. one of my dearest friends is having a baby shower. i have deemed this weekend, "the weekend of things that i must do, but things that i want to do...nay, things that i can't wait to do." 

yes, that's a long title. but seriously. i'm going to get to celebrate my sister's birthday for the first time in probably 10 years. i mean, the last time we were together in july, i'm pretty sure we were bickering. which means it was at least when i was still living at 1039. which means it was a L-O-N-G time ago. 

and, though i can still remember a time when almost ALL of my friends said that it would be a L-O-N-G time before they had kids, well...almost all of us have had them...or acquired them or whatever. i can't believe i'm going to a shower for hfp, or hff, as the case may be. i can't wait to see my buddy...the one who was embarrassed to have received a red nighty our freshman year from a beau. she is very visibly pregnant. i almost misspelled the word. because i feel like we're not quite that old.

and i have a teenager. i never thought that i'd be celebrating my sister's 25th as the mother of a 15-year-old. and i can't wait to see him. this has been one of the longest two-week stretches of my life. i can't wait to laugh with him, to hear his music blasting from his bedroom, to see his sheets rumpled again. i miss my baby boy.

isn't it funny how the world works...and how God works in it? i'm pretty sure none of the people in my sphere could have foretold the things that will be tomorrow. but i'm thankful for every event. for every person. for the very reason that i will travel 450 miles. i'm thankful for today...and for all we've all become.

a little alone time...

tonight i did the following:

- ate udon noodles with wreckless abandon.

- watched gossip girl with no apologies.

- gave the puppies a greenie...and a treat.

- sat out in my backyard talking to one of my best friends.

i count it a good day. i miss my husband, and my son. i don't like this much responsibility. but, man. do i love udon noodles.

To have a nana...

It's been years since my "nana" died (my mom's mom in Kansas City) but I can still remember visits to nana's house. I have no idea where my parents went when they left me at nana's house for days at a time, but it didn't matter. Fun was ahead. Pure, crazy, no rules kind of fun.

If I had not been too much of a pill, and I was one crazy wild little boy!) I got to eat at Showbiz pizza. Watching animatronic animals sing to you between stuffing your face with pizza and then grabbing that big mallet to play 'whack-a-mole' has to be the best thing on earth! Or at least it was then... Then it was off to Furr's Cafeteria for nana to get something she wanted to eat... meatloaf, turkey cutlet - you know, old lady things to eat. And if I had been good, it was off to Toys R Us to get a toy - a real loud one that would drive my parents crazy. Nana seemed to really like those...

Emily's parents are now, because of the loss of both of my parents, now my parents too by default. :) They've adopted me. They're absolutely amazing...
This past weekend they joined us in Nashville for the 4th of July. We had so much fun - we had an amazing shrimp boil Emily prepared for Dennis's first American 4th of July, spent time together as a family in the backyard escape, and as usual had lots of help from Pops on projects around the house.

But it was Sunday's departure that tugged at our new parent heartstrings. Nana and pops had invited Dennis to come spend some time in Arkadelphia since his boring old parents have to work all day every day. :) There's only so much Wii and Rosetta Stone you can take before you start making up imaginary friends (which he did!). Dennis asked if he could pack the big black bag for his journey and I said sure. I thought he meant his NorthFace duffle bag. Apparently not! He brought down the biggest suitcase we have filled with things for his time at nana and pop's house. :) I tried to squish it in nana's trunk and the alarm went off. An alarm? What is that? I opened it up to find his alarm/clock/radio in there! It is huge - and nana has an alarm! But if that makes him feel at home, by all means... :)

As they were loading up, Dennis probably hugged Emily and I about 10 times each. I could tell he was going to miss us, but he just kept waving and running back for hugs. When he got in the car he rolled down the window and kept waving and looking back the whole way down the street.

I'm not so sure he misses us as much today. :) But he told me today to tell Emily hos much he loves her and misses her... Such a great kid! He is having so much fun at nana's! He has single handedly diagnosed and revived all of nana's plants thanks to his gardening experience from the Stephanencos in Moldova, he's learned to grill ribs, and he rides his bike everyday. (But that might take a little break since he told me his butt heart from the bike today and he thought he might die!) He's been to the science center and Wild River Country with nana, and went fishing at the lake. He caught fish, and even though they were small, he cleaned them, cooked them and ate them while nana and pops cheered him on and tried not to gag. :) If it cools off, he's even going to go dig for diamonds at the Crater of Diamonds state park. I've always wanted to do that! And I'm sure he's having fun being on "Bernice Watch" - waiting to see the ghost that nana swears came to live with them after the tornado in 97. :)

On Tuesday, I noticed he had facebooked someone and told them he was at his grandparents house. Then I remembered a conversation we had at Jessica's wedding in Arkansas where he was overwhelmed with emotion because he had never known any family in Moldova except for his dad for a short time and what little he had been around his mom. He knew no aunts, uncles, grandparents - nobody. He thought it was so cool to have all this family and thought the wedding was the coolest thing he had ever seen. (But that's another blog for another day!) I thought, it is so great to have a nana to spoil you - to let you sleep till noon, ride your bike, catch fish and cook them - and while I never did that particular task, I remember fondly running around with the plastic lawn mower with the popping plastic balls that made the worst noise. That's what nana is for and I'm so glad Dennis now has a nana.....

If I had pictures to post, I would. But I think what happens at nana's stays at nana's. I'm sure we'll have more stories to tell when he returns from nana's. We've already had another flood while Dennis is gone...

And just in case you thought our lives sounded perfect and picturesque today, apparently the water problem we had recently was NOT plumbing, and thanks to the drought it hasn't rained since memorial day when the last flood happened... But yesterday it did, and water pooled in the same spot in our bedroom, and now we know it's coming from above, not below. :) But man, do we have some great new pipes! :) Dennis said "Oy Teh!" When we told him, and asked if we had to get all new floors again. Boy was he relieved when I told him I don't think its as bad this time... and we're relieved, too. But we hope whatever is causing it to rain in our bathroom and bedroom gets fixed soon. :)

Until next time!
jon

aloha and renovations

so the last post was long, but apparently not long enough. can you believe i have actually had real people (a.k.a. not just bloggers) comment on the fact that my blog is a bit out of date? please. you have no idea.

let's see. in the last post i mentioned that our floors had flooded. well, true to engineered-hardwood form, they indeed had to gut my first floor and replace all the hardwoods. what that means is that while our little family took its first vacation, worker men visited my home and wreaked havoc. yep. there is a fine layer of dust covering every inch. i returned home to every piece of furniture piled in the center of my living room. but you should see my floors. courtesy of the nice folks at state farm, i have hardwoods that are my DREAM floors. i just want to stand around and look at them. but because of the "renovation" i haven't had a computer until now.

BUT. before today, here are the things that happened.

we went on vacation. dennis's first trip to Hawaii, and to any beach other than the black sea. i desperately wanted to blog about it before it happened, but i had the feeling that someone might break into the house because the whole world would know we were out of town (somehow, it was FINE to give our code to the floor men). so, yes, we were on vacation.

after 17 hours of travel, we landed on Maui, and big D commenced snapping photos of everything in sight. jon and i have been to hawaii three times now, and somehow, the highway to ka'anapali beach is not as enthralling to us as it was to him. he thought it was BEAUTIFUL...and it is. we are SO lucky to have been able to have the week of our lives in paradise with our family.

highlights: (1) dennis had surf lessons w/ the most BEAUTIFUL girl in the world. seriously. she got out of her Maui Surfer Girls van and all of us dropped our jaws. he got up after about 15 minutes. he was then promptly stung by a jellyfish. melissa (aka the goddess) told him to tee-tee on himself. he said, "NOOOOO." and then he made her hike back to her van to get vinegar. i'm pretty sure he thought we were trying to kill him.

(2) we had the most beautiful boat ride in the world. we cruised around Lanai (the home of the Dole pineapple plantation in days past), and right as we thought it was over, about 100 dolphins leapt out of the water and started spinning for us. i screamed like a little kid and clapped my hands and apparently talked like they were my children. dennis was BLOWN AWAY. we all agreed that the trip was the BEST.

(3) my husband surprised me by renting out the gazebo where we were married and having dinner catered in. how great is he? it was so special to sit in the spot where we promised to love each other forever.

(4) i got to teach my son how to snorkel. and then, once he had the hang of it, and once i, (aka fatty mcfatterson) had grown tired, i hiked the beach, found a perch, and watched my son paddle above the reef. it occurred to me that probably at no time in recent remembrance had someone just watched Dennis. just let him do whatever and made sure he was safe. and i was so happy to be a mommy. mommies are the ones who, despite the beating sun, and their freckling skin, keep watch on their babies. and i feel like i might have just joined the league.

don't get me wrong. the next day, in a flight of fancy, i sent Sam and Dennis down to the beach with the promise that they would see giant turtles while snorkeling. and i enjoyed about an hour of blissful solitude.

so, we're home. and i have pretty floors. and my freckles have almost run together to make a tan. and it's on to the next big thing. i'm almost scared to ask :)

no more vacations for the merrymans

well...lest anyone think that our lives are wine and roses, here's what happened to our family on memorial day.

jon took our son to pick up his sister in brentwood, and then to a movie. my idea of a great vacation is neurotically organizing everything in sight, so i stayed home. i murphy-oiled my front porch rockers, stacked my tupperware by size and color, alphabetized my teas, and filed all the adoption papers i had been leaving out "in case we should need them." (like some moldovan judge was going to call and ask questions or something).

i had volunteered our home and our son's oil paints to anastasia's family for the afternoon. she's trying to get into an art school for college, and one of her portfolio requirements is an oil painting, and her family doesn't have the goods on hand. so, it only made sense, since dennis is so well-outfitted in the paint department, that we should let them bond over blank canvases and turpentine.

so everyone invaded my space around 3:30 p.m. jon and i settled in to watch a movie and left the kids upstairs to paint. when jon went upstairs around 5 to check progress, he noticed a large green splotch on my spotless linen lampshade. he came downstairs and told me about said spot, and said, "you probably shouldn't go up there." and so i went upstairs. well, friends, it appeared that jackson pollock had made a stop at our house. there was blue paint on my custom sofa, black paint on the Berber, and green paint on the walls. i have never been so furious.

well, my brilliant husband herded the kids to the car and made dennis grab his wallet. one trip to pottery barn later, and we had a brand new lampshade, sponsored by my son. he was a little appalled at the price, though not nearly as appalled as i was by the mayhem that had ensued and the fact that his sister did not have a painting to show for all of that trouble.

while my boys were in cool springs, i began noticing that a spot i had earlier thought was where one of my precious, well-house-trained puppies had pottied had grown to a 2' x 6' puddle on my bedroom carpet. knowing there was no way that the dogs had drunk three gallons of water during the day, we had to call state farm - especially when we noticed that the hardwoods were buckling.

so...at 10:30 last night, the nice plumber came and tightened a valve. at 11:30 last night, the water extracters came and set up giant spaceship looking devices to suck all the water out of the house. around 1 a.m., jon and i settled in to the soothing sounds of an airplane taking off. these sounds will continue for 5 days, when the floors "should" be dry and the nice floor repairmen will come and rip out my hardwoods to replace them with new ones.

i couldn't really sit dennis down and have a chat about the oil paint disaster in the middle of that. what i can't figure out is how God knew that a flood would be one of the few things that would take my mind off my anger!

reflections on motherhood

this is a little late in coming, but i wanted to post about my first mother's day as a mom. my little family is so sweet. after a friday of deliveries at the office (one of which was a cookie bouquet with little jon, emily and dennis cookies in it), i was pampered beyond belief. my new son wrote me a card...and while it wasn't eloquent, it called me mom, and that was enough for me. this picture is part of my gift. jon hired a fabulous photographer, hannah westphall, to take family pictures at our home. she's amazing...click here to see her work.

this long, strange journey has taught me so much about being a woman. how strange that God would give us such wisdom and insight...and then wrap it up in an emotional package. i can handle the biggest things, but the little things can undo me.

last night, we heard a sad story about a teenager who accidentally ran over his adopted little sister. my heart is weeping today about this. i know God has an incredible plan for our little boy, but today, i was reminded that "His ways are higher than our ways."

it might not be that my son paints a picture that will hang in the MoMA. do you remember the way you felt the day you graduated high school? when someone gave you the "Oh, the Places you will Go" book and sent you on your way? when you thought the world was your oyster? that's how i felt about my son until this morning. that the world was so big a place and that by him coming to america, things were a little more attainable for him. that he could cure cancer or at least evangelize a small third-world country.

i am reminded that our wildest dreams sometimes fall short...because they're just that...ours. i pray that the plans God has for my "little" one are ones that i can handle...and if i can't, i pray i turn to God for strength.

the end is nigh

well...we've conquered almost three months of american public school. and we think we've done pretty well. i mean, big D made the honor roll last nine weeks and is tracking to repeat this nine-weeks. WHAT?! i have a kid that is old enough to make honor roll.

tonight is a bit traumatic because of the following:
1. i forgot that monday was cinco de mayo and had to throw together an impromptu potluck salad for work which (a) depleted my side supply for dinners this week, but (b) reminded me that i CAN COOK even though i'm a mother of a teenager. after tonight's supperthyme meal, we are plum out of anything to eat, which sends me into a panic that i MIGHT have to grocery shop in the middle of the week (CRISIS in my book, for sure).

2. dennis is studying for his gateway algebra I exam. yup, you read that right.

3. dennis has his very last soccer game tomorrow. it will be the city championships, and it looks like they might WIN!

4. both 2 and 3 add up to one grumpy kid. we have no idea why our precious one is a bit on the moody side, but we assume it's because (although he's not our biological son) he has a tendency to internalize things and get stressed out. and also, he equates the end of soccer season to the "end of life as he knows it." yikes.

i'm sure we'll make it through all the drama. we have so far, anyway.

spring

our little family is busy. dennis was recently accepted into nashville school for the arts. this is a BIG DEAL. because his teachers are amazing, they let us know that there were options we should look into. so glad we did. dennis will be able to focus on drawing - something he does really well. he's interested in graphic design, and the school has classes in this. you have to understand that since dennis is only just now joining our little family, private school savings are not really part of the picture. because we live in a fabulous city, he will be able to go to a public school that allows him to do what he loves. crazy.

we are so very thankful for all of the people who have poured into dennis already. i mentioned his amazing teachers. let me tell you about a couple of them. mr and mrs ling are this lovely couple who both work at dennis's school. mr ling is his social studies teacher as well as his soccer coach. the other night, they offered to take dennis to a track meet, just so he'd be able to see what it is like. they took him to chic-fil-a, and brought him home. although the quiet night at home was relaxing and welcome, it didn't compare to the look on his face when he got home. his smile touched his ears, i swear! he couldn't stop talking about this and that...

in moldova, we know that people poured into him. those people are some of our dear friends. but it is awe-inspiring to feel that ordinary people who we didn't know just two short months ago, are willing to take a chance and spend their evenings exposing our new son to things he hasn't seen. incredible.

sometimes, its easy for me to miss the blessings when i'm wrapped up into the day-to-day. (who's going to pick up...what are we going to do about summer...why is our hot water running out so quickly). i'm thankful for times when i'm overwhelmed by God's provision for my family.

Happy 1st Americanski Birthday, Dennis!

So many of you have said - Hey, update your blog already! You're not in Moldova anymore! And you're right. We've been home for a month! I picked this picture of Dennis at the zoo to try to capture the essence of how wild our life has been since returning from Moldova! Get it? Wild? :)
Where to begin... So much has happened since we returned! Maybe I can just list some highlights for you... This may be stream of consciousness since I'm a parent now and don't sleep near as much as I used to....

We've been to the Frist, the Nashville Zoo (Dennis loves him some monkeys and meerkats), the movies, the mall, Target (a family favorite), Pump It Up, church at Rolling Hills, Kairos at Brentwood Baptist, a Predators game (thanks to our amazing Dentist Dr. Wallace) RHCC youth group at the YMCA, and so much more!

We've survived the first trip to a real doctor and walked out with a clean bill of heath and survived first trip to a real Dentist - that didn't go so well. 2 cavities. Not bad for not seeing a dentist till 15, right? One cavity was so bad all the peach flavored happy-gas and 3 shots in the face couldn't numb poor Dennis enough to endure that filling.

Dennis started school at McMurray Middle School a week after arriving, went to school for 2 days, tried out for the boys soccer team and made it! You should have seen me at 9 o'clock at night picking out shin guards and soccer cleats. Dennis wondered why so many places we go everyone knows me but why nobody knows me at Academy Sports. Hilarious. It's a whole new world... We've met his teachers, worn everyone out with our questions, cheered him on at every soccer game, and probably embarrassed him a million times. Next week is Spring Break and Dennis signed up to go on a mission trip with Rolling Hills youth group to Kentucky. Amazing that he is ready to give back and serve Americans living in poverty. I can't wait to see what God does in and through him next week...

Funny Dennis-ism's so far.
"I'm flying with Peaches!" Dennis on the gas at the dentist...
"I was singing and I totally lost control!" Dennis at the dentist singing a song about Stefan Cel Mare - a king from Moldova or Dacia at the time...
"So many Spanish girls talk to me at school. Everyone wants to know who I like."
He loves fruit. He doesn't "like so much" hamburgers, although as to not make me feel bad he says, "I like the way you do, I just don't like so much." Hotdogs, same category. Homemade chili from dad? Not so much. Anything Emily cooks? He loves. I'm not sure what that's about. :) He loves ribs from Chili's and you can probably hear him groan with happiness wherever you are on Sundays at lunch when he's face down in some ribs.

And some things just aren't like Moldova...
Dennis still laughs when people pull off the road when a fire truck is coming. He says, "Oui Te! That would never happen in Moldova!" And yes, he says that every time. :) He laughs when you stop at a school bus with the sign out. He doesn't know why we throw salt on our sidewalks in the snow when dirt worked just fine in Moldova. He doesn't understand arch supports in shoes or why one needs to wear a different outfit everyday. He also can't believe he is in America. The other night he told me that he loved Moldova but even when he was little he would hear about America and he knew deep down inside he would be here one day - he just had no idea when we met 4 and a half years ago that it would be in our family. :)

So... Just some random fun info about our first month as a family. Most of our days look like this... Emily or I take Dennis to school, we work, he goes to school, we get home and have dinner, Dennis puts on Emily's apron and tries to help cook, we eat, I clean up, Emily helps with 3 hours of Algebra homework (I am no help there) and I take over for Social Studies homework - teaching my child from a former Communist country about the battle of big horn, western expansion, slavery and civil war battles. I never thought I would need this information again - and definitely not so soon! And in case you're wondering, this is a lot different than an average day, say, before February 1st. :)

So thanks for your thoughts and prayers and for asking us to update our blog - that means you care enough to read it and for that Emily and I are very grateful. Parenting is hard work we've learned, and we're starting to realize the reason everyone said, "Wow, a teenager? Out of the frying pan, into the fire!" We appreciate your continued support and prayer as we learn how to be the parents God created us to be and as Dennis continues to learn what it means to be a son and to be able to come home each afternoon and fall into the loving arms of a mom and dad. It reminds us each day of our need to run into the arms of our Father, too.

Thanks again for joining us on this journey! We'll try to update this more than once a month. :)

jon (and emily)

First Family Conference

So let me tell you about our sweet son -- he makes his bed, listens to American Christian music as he falls asleep, he holds the door for people, he uses his knife and fork (unlike me), and he is excited about what breakfast with a family looks like. We just can't wait to get him home.

But our Sunday didn't quite turn out as planned.

Even though we said our good-byes to Ms. Galina - the director of the orphanage where Dennis has lived and gone to school - on our last trip, we had a special called meeting there at noon yesterday. We think it was just an attempt for our adoption friends to get free lunch for themselves, their kids, strange passersby - but I won't go into that now... We'll save it until I write my Jerry Maguire report to the agency in America when I get home. :) But we had a lovely talk with Ms. Galina where she told us Dennis is amazing and talented, he is strong like an ox, and he is smart and will fake being sick to skip class so look out. :) All good to know. Then in true Moldovan adoption fashion, we were whisked away to the one of the most expensive restaurants in Moldova where we chewed on tough chicken and ate chicken soup with bones floating in it.

But it was at lunch where things turned south. The phone rings and its dennis's mom. We had planned for her to go to church with us and out do dinner. But although it wasn't yet 5 o'clock anywhere, she was unable to join us. She was rude and mean to Dennis and said hurtful things. He was sad but when we asked if he was okay he just said yes and looked down. We went to church and he just wanted to be alone and then wanted to stay with his friends at church one last time. So emily and I left and went and had pizza with the treadways - whom we now adore. :)

But when we all reconvened at home last night we had our first family conference where we explained that its okay to tell us when you are sad or happy or whatever. He just said he wasn't THAT sad... he was okay. And then he told us what happened on the phone. Emily explained that we are a family and we tell each other when we are sad so we can help each other and be sad with each other and when one of us is happy, we are all happy - we're family. He looked at us sweetly and said - I haven't had a mother since I was 5 and I haven't had a dad since before that. I usually have to get through problems alone. I am still learning what is a family. So we had a sweet moment and said there is much more learning to do - let's get on home to America. I have an amazing wife - who is and is becoming an amazing mom. She leaned over to me after our sweet little talk with our son and said. "I feel like Wanda Beaver." After a few moments of confusion she said - you know, like that show with the perfect family? I finally figured out that was shear exhaustion speak for June Cleaver and we had a big laugh before bed.

Right now, Dennis is off at school saying good-byes and then off to visit his mother. Then he is meeting us at the Embassy and we leave for Romania in the morning. He is having a guys night at church tonight that they are throwing for him. I think it involves "shoot-em-up" video games at an itnernet cafe... Wow. We are parents of a teenage boy. :)

Thanks for your prayers. Today is a big day! We hope to update you again after the embassy visit.

jon

here we go again...

we're finally here! it feels like this trip has been a long time coming, but now that it's here, it doesn't feel real!

we met the treadways, who are adopting a 15-year-old girl named Olga, at the Frankfurt Airport. we're all hanging out here at the team house, getting ready to go to the embassy tomorrow. today, we have church, and dinner with d's mom, and i think lunch with dennis's principal, Mrs. Galena. that was kind of a surprise!

we're trying to get all of dennis's visiting done - with his friends and his mom and his church group. we have that "we're in moldova" feeling - no schedule, but you have to be ready at a moment's notice to go running around. but we only have two nights here, and then it's on to Romania. we're really looking forward to that in a twisted sort of way...apparently, it's more developed than Moldova (there's even a Starbucks!), but we will be moving very quickly through there. The good news is that it involves a 7 hour drive, which equals a nap for me :) Jet lag is a bummer already.

Anyway, we're busy being parents and trying to figure out rules and regulations and how to teach this beautiful child how to be part of an American family. it's a little overwhelming, but i promise we can feel your prayers all the way across the ocean. thanks for remembering us...

Back to Moldova!

Hey family and friends!

Just wanted to post our travel info so you can be praying for us and keeping up with us along our journey this next week! We hope to be able to blog along the way but we know this trip is fast and furious, so we'll see what happens!

Here is our schedule. If you can make it the airport in Nashville on Saturday the 8th, we'd love to see you! Feel free to bring Bread and Salt for Dennis. He told his friend Galina, who lives here in Nashville now, to bring him Bread and Salt - it's how you welcome a Moldovan. Galina said she would bring him bread and peanut butter - he's an American!

Jon and Emily

Friday, February 1st

Depart Nashville 1:20pm Arrive Chicago 2:55pm

Depart Chicago 7:30pm Arrive Frankfurt 11:10am

Saturday, February 2nd

Depart Frankfurt 3:00pm Arrive Chisinau, Moldova 6:20pm



Jon, Emily & Dennis!

Friday, February 8th

Depart Bucharest, Romania 8:35am Arrive London 10:00am

Depart London 12:15pm Arrive Chicago 3:05pm

Depart Chicago 6:20pm Arrive Nashville 7:45pm

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers! Please pray that the process with the American Embassies goes smoothly. :) We've made it through the Moldovan government, now onto our own folks! :) See you soon! We can't wait for you to meet Dennis...