reflections on motherhood

this is a little late in coming, but i wanted to post about my first mother's day as a mom. my little family is so sweet. after a friday of deliveries at the office (one of which was a cookie bouquet with little jon, emily and dennis cookies in it), i was pampered beyond belief. my new son wrote me a card...and while it wasn't eloquent, it called me mom, and that was enough for me. this picture is part of my gift. jon hired a fabulous photographer, hannah westphall, to take family pictures at our home. she's amazing...click here to see her work.

this long, strange journey has taught me so much about being a woman. how strange that God would give us such wisdom and insight...and then wrap it up in an emotional package. i can handle the biggest things, but the little things can undo me.

last night, we heard a sad story about a teenager who accidentally ran over his adopted little sister. my heart is weeping today about this. i know God has an incredible plan for our little boy, but today, i was reminded that "His ways are higher than our ways."

it might not be that my son paints a picture that will hang in the MoMA. do you remember the way you felt the day you graduated high school? when someone gave you the "Oh, the Places you will Go" book and sent you on your way? when you thought the world was your oyster? that's how i felt about my son until this morning. that the world was so big a place and that by him coming to america, things were a little more attainable for him. that he could cure cancer or at least evangelize a small third-world country.

i am reminded that our wildest dreams sometimes fall short...because they're just that...ours. i pray that the plans God has for my "little" one are ones that i can handle...and if i can't, i pray i turn to God for strength.