first day of school

i'm the daughter of a school teacher. anyone who knows me well knows this. my mom is an undeniable influence in my life, but her legacy of school and education is one of the strongest pulls i feel. it was she who taught me that the first day of school was unlike any other "first day." she still gets all excited when walmart opens up those two long aisles of back-to-school goodness. she would take jessica and me to the hot springs mall and let us pick out our school clothes, usually at sears or penneys and then we'd go home and lay out our first day outfit. i mean, head-to-toe, if there was layering involved, it would be evidenced on the hangers outside our closet, and the shoes would be lined up as if there was a little invisible emily hanging outside those folding doors. now, i would continue this ritual up until marriage. jessica usually let it go after the excitement wore off.

i write all this, because this is really my first time to live through the first day with my own son. i got so excited last weekend because it was TAX FREE. that means that all the families in tennessee mob target just to save that almost-ten-percent tax on school clothes and supplies.

pause. there is nothing i like better than brand new school supplies. the smell of wooden pencils, even though i never use them, is heavenly. the crack of a notebook that has yet to get it's spirals smashed. those cute mini-supplies, like staplers, that you'll NEVER use.

so last weekend, we asked dennis if he needed anything to start school. he looked at us if we were half-crazed. "but, don't you need new pencils or something?" 

"no. i have lots of pencils."

"paper? notebooks?"

"no. why would i need them? i have plenty of paper and notebooks."

"don't you need new polo shirts - isn't there a stain on some of them?"

at this point, he notices that i'm slightly pained.

"i don't need a new one. there maybe a small stain, but it's fine. maybe just one more would be ok."

and then i remember that he's from a former soviet nation. just having a pencil is fine. as long as you've got room to write, you don't need more paper. a stain on a shirt is no biggie, so long as it fits you.

there are times when i notice that american excess gets to him. and it breaks my heart and has even made me return things when i sense that i've fallen prey to the same. and i recognize that the "first day of school" is a marketing ploy like everything else because what kid in america really needs one more pencil?