When home just isn't home...

This is a picture of Emily and I leaving Chisinau Friday morning. If we look tired, it's because we survived one of the craziest weeks of our lives and it's 3 in the morning and we're posing for a picture. Dennis needs one more redbull in this picture to fully show you how happy he is to be our son. :) We promise, he smiles. And we promise, he loves him some redbull. Thanks Jamey!

It's official!
We're home.
Back to life... back to reality.
But something just doesn't feel right about home.
For months, we've talked ourselves out of believing that Dennis is truly our son just in case the judge said "no." We would get ready to pick out furniture for his room or pick out paint colors and then stop -- wondering if it was really going to happen. I made Emily watch "Martian Child" because I thought it would be sweet -- about adoption and family and such -- but when the government tried to take the boy away from the new adoptive dad, it made us put on the skids a bit...
But something changed the minute the Moldovan judge said, "His name will be Dennis Merryman. His father shall be Jonathan Merryman and his mother shall be Emily Merryman. The location and date of birth will not change." Something changed inside of each of us...
It would be hard to think that we could feel more connected and more like a family than we did just moments before court - riding around in Moldova at the speed of light with Victor, following crazy Albina making stops and parking illegally all the way to the courthouse... But the moment we heard the ruling we knew our lives would never be the same -- and it made us smile. We had a baby. A big, wonderful 15-year-old boy, Dennis.
There was a lot to process in the few hours we had between court and our 3am cab ride to the airport! We had to make sure Dennis had luggage to pack his things in, make sure he had "allowance" to survive until we came back in February, and we had to prepare to leave our "son" for the first time. When I have gone on mission trips with mothers and fathers before they get so sad when they leave their children. A day or two goes by and they miss their voices. They don't think they can go on without seeing them. Part of me said - "Buck up, people! It's not that long to be away!" But that's how Emily and I feel today. It's been three days and we miss our son.
The jet lag still hits at funny times.
A picture or a thought make us miss our son.
We sit on the couch with the pups wishing Dennis was there - knowing Max and Maggie will love him and hoping he loves them back. :)
We think of all he will get to experience for the first time.
We think of all he's experienced as an orphan that we wish we could take away.
We wish we could sit and have tea together.
We wonder if we will make it to February.
We miss Dennis.

So for now we pray and look forward to all the fun, challenging, exciting, and crazy times we will have as new parents of a 15-year-old when we pick him up and bring him home in February. Thank you for continuing to pray for us and for Dennis. We can't wait for each of you to meet him.