have mercy...

our little d will be driving soon. very soon. although not as soon as he thinks if he keeps THIS up.

in TN, you have to have 180 days of "practice" before they'll let you have a license even if you're 16.

as usual, we're down to the wire. his 180 days will be up next month, and we haven't let him practice as much as we probably should have. we live in a pretty bustling area, and quite frankly, we're usually running late to wherever we're going and it's usually my fault. and if we're late, then i probably CANNOT HANDLE a teenager driving which would inevitably make us later. it makes my teeth itch. really.

so this week, jon has taken on the responsibility of letting dennis drive to school. he's a trooper...i do not deserve his husbandness.

only dennis is acting progressively stinkier as the week wears on. take note: it is tuesday. you'd have to get jon to tell you exactly, since i wasn't present, but their conversation this morning went something like this:

DENNIS
"i think you're wondering how i know to stop the car."

JON
"um, i would hope you're watching the car in front of you to see when they brake."

DENNIS
"no. i like to look far in the distance. i can see the brakes of cars far ahead of me in the reflection on the pavement."
please note: it has been raining for 39 days here. God hasn't broken his promise yet, but he's getting awfully close.

JON
"well, that's not safe. you really need to watch the car in front of you, since that's the one you'll hit first. if you DO happen to hit the car in front of you, it will cost you at least $2500 to fix."

DENNIS
"it doesn't help me drive better when you try to scare me like that. and i think looking in front of you or looking far ahead of you is a matter of opinion."

You see, to teenagers, they are ALWAYS RIGHT. so if you say something that's different from what they believe, it becomes "your opinion." PLUS, we don't have any point of reference on this whole thing. by this point, most parents have worked through several milestones with their child. nope. not us. this is it.

HOWEVER. i wonder if driving isn't the worst thing that could happen at this point. i'm giving you a BONUS STORY!

last week, jon had to work a conference downtown. dennis has to ride the metro bus to jon's office normally in the afternoons, and that bus goes to the downtown "hub" first. so jon (without asking me) decided that it would be a great idea if dennis just got off the bus at the downtown hub so jon could meet him without having to pick him up south of town.

my husband. he is funny. he decided that it would FANtastic to give dennis the GPS from his car, pre-programmed with the conference's address. then, dennis could just get off the bus, turn the GPS on and then walk the three or four blocks to meet jon.

y'all. my little orphan son was walking through downtown with a GPS. i'm pretty sure it would be on an episode of perfect strangers if it were on today. only i wouldn't do the dance of joy. nope. i'm pretty sure someone reported us to DHS.

he DID make it safely to jon...even checked in, got a name badge and found jon. we really have no need to worry about him. it's us you've gotta worry about.