i'm pretty stubborn. i know. it surprises even me sometimes.
There are more than a few reasons why I haven't blogged in awhile. I've recently realized that the pain of Dennis leaving was kind of a lot. As an adoptive mom, it's pretty hard to deal with the idea that you chose a child and he didn't choose you back. In fact, he un-chose. Negating my own choice. And I just have to accept it and accept myself. And accept him all over again in a way that I didn't expect.
And as far as writing about it? I am learning that it is more gratifying to write the bad, but ever so much easier to write the good. It was easy and fun to share the tale of an older international adoption that we were sure would turn out well. Sharing our shortcomings as parents? Not so fun.
But. Life goes on. I have a fabulous job that is rewarding in ways I'd never expect. That is definitely a post for another day, but the basics are that I raise money for students at an institution that built me. And it came along at such a perfect time - God's time.
That house we closed on a year ago last week? it's still a work in progress but we are settling in. It's home and I'm grateful every day that we live here. It is a gigantic blessing to live so close to my mom. We see one another pretty frequently. We share meals and laughs and tears. And you don't realize that sharing is a gift. it used to take weeks to plan to share a meal. And now? Sometimes we don't even plan it. Ditto for living closer to my sister. I'm beyond grateful for the time we spend being adult sisters.
And since i last posted...Jon has transitioned into a completely new role. We both work at Ouachita, and when I tell you that this is a miracle, I promise I'm not being dramatic. It has been a year of learning God's sovereignty.
Thanks for letting me do the quickie update on the last 364 days. More to come.
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