i recently turned 33. a palindrome. and it wasn't much fun.
my life in a sentence: i'm never exactly where i thought i would be at any given moment.
i don't know why i think this way. honestly i don't. nothing in the last 10 years has been what i would call "normal," but really, whose life is?
i've been looking back over some old journals and things lately and it's been so funny to really see how much i've changed and how much i've remained the same.it's that last part that is so hard. remaining the same. i so want to be BETTER.
i've been dealing with comparison lately as well. i really feel like this is the crux of what is wrong with 99% of people i know (self included). comparing yourself and your life to that of others makes you feel wrong. i'm wrong because i'm not like ______. there's trouble because i don't have babies yet. it's bad that my house isn't as big as theirs. my job doesn't make me turn cartwheels like hers does. but i have a tendency to miss life when i'm thinking like that.
i'm me. i have an a-MAZ-ing husband. i can cook a mean pork tenderloin. i have a family that loves me despite any shortcomings i think i have. i have really great friends (that i don't see often enough). i live close to a taco truck. i have an apple green ottoman.
i'm reading and re-reading one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. it is about finding joy every single day and being grateful for everything, even the crappy things. i don't think she uses the word crap, but it speaks to my heart. in it, she talks about loss and even being thankful for that.
i continue to work through the dennis situation and this is the way i'm working though it. by being thankful. thankful for meeting him and thankful for mothering him and thankful for losing him. not grateful that i have a hole in my heart, but grateful for the lessons God is teaching me through it.
i continue to work through the loss of my dad in the same way. i'm thankful for his life on earth and i'm thankful for his death. ALL is grace and i will glorify the Father in the midst of it all.
i also found a post this morning from john piper, sharing the story of ian and larissa, a couple that decided to get married even after his tragic, life-altering accident. do me a favor (although i suspect that it will reward you), and read and watch their story HERE.
i am in awe of the blessing of marriage in my own life, and was once again reminded that when you get married, it is to further the kingdom of Christ above all else. i am so thankful for jon and his leadership of our family.
that was alot, i know. i am grateful to come out from a dry spell.
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Hey, I just randomly stumbled upon your blog, but I just wanted to say that I am sure you'll find your place on this world! Just fight for the things you want :)
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